Tech interviews stress a lot of people out — and honestly, I get why.

I’ve been in the software industry for close to a decade now. I’ve failed interviews. I’ve passed interviews. I’ve been rejected for roles I thought I was perfect for, and I’ve also been lucky enough to get opportunities I didn’t fully expect.

On top of that, I’ve spent years on the other side of the table as an interviewer.

After seeing both sides of the process, I wanted to put everything together in one place — not as a “how to ace interviews” guide, but as an honest breakdown of how interviews actually work, why they feel so stressful, and what really matters.

I also made a video version of this if you prefer watching instead of reading:
👉 Watch the full video here

Why Interviews Feel So Stressful

Interviews are stressful because they trigger something very human: the fear of being judged.

You want the job.
You want to perform well.
You want to appear competent, smart, and capable.

So naturally, you try to be perfect.

You overprepare.
You memorize things.
You overthink what the interviewer wants.
You panic when you don’t know something.

I’ve done this in almost every interview I’ve ever attended.

And honestly? That stress is normal.

The problem is that when people get nervous, they stop being honest. They try to perform instead of communicate. That’s usually where things start going wrong.

What Interviewers Actually Look For

This might surprise you:

Most interviewers don’t care how much you’ve memorized.

What they care about is how you think.

When I interview someone, I’m trying to understand:

• How they approach problems
• How they reason through uncertainty
• Whether they can explain ideas clearly
• Whether they can work with other people
• Whether I’d actually enjoy working with them

Software development isn’t about knowing every algorithm by heart.
It’s about solving problems, communicating clearly, and learning continuously.

In real projects, especially in domains like finance, healthcare, or large enterprise systems, you spend more time understanding business logic and explaining things to others than writing clever code.

If you can think clearly and communicate well, the rest can be taught.

Not Knowing Something Is Completely Fine

This is one of the biggest misunderstandings candidates have.

When interviewers ask questions and gradually increase the difficulty, they’re not expecting you to answer everything correctly. They’re trying to understand where your current level is.

At some point, you should say:

“I’m not sure about that.”

That’s not a failure. That’s actually useful information for the interviewer.

What matters more is what you do next:

• Do you panic?
• Do you make things up?
• Or do you explain how you would think about the problem?

Even saying something like:

“I haven’t worked with this directly, but based on what I know, I’d approach it this way…”

…is a very good answer.

It shows honesty, reasoning, and maturity.

Trying to bluff your way through technical questions almost always backfires.

Your Projects Matter More Than You Think

When interviewers ask about your projects, they’re not looking for perfection.

They want to understand:

• What you actually worked on
• What decisions you made
• What went wrong
• What you’d do differently today

That’s why choosing the right project to talk about is important.

If you pick a project where you barely contributed or don’t understand deeply, the conversation dies quickly.

But if you pick a project where:

• You made architectural decisions
• You solved real problems
• You dealt with trade-offs or mistakes

Then you suddenly have a lot to talk about — and that’s where interviewers get real insight into how you work.

Real experience beats polished theory every time.

Buzzwords Can Hurt You

This is especially relevant today with AI, GenAI, RAG, and all the buzzwords floating around.

Using buzzwords isn’t the problem.

Using them without understanding is.

If someone tells me they’ve worked with AI, I’ll naturally ask:

• What did you actually build?
• What problems did you face?
• How did you design it?
• What would you improve?

If the answers don’t go beyond surface-level terms, it becomes very obvious very quickly.

Interviewers don’t expect you to know everything.
They do expect you to be honest about what you know and what you don’t.

Strong thinking > trendy tools.

Treat Interviews Like Conversations, Not Exams

This part is very important.

If an interviewer asks you to design a system or solve a problem, don’t rush to give an answer.

Ask questions.
Clarify requirements.
Understand the constraints.

That’s exactly how real engineering work happens.

When someone immediately jumps to a solution without clarifying anything, it usually shows inexperience — not confidence.

Interviews work best when they feel like a technical discussion, not a test.

Ask Questions at the End

This part is underrated.

Asking questions shows interest.
It shows maturity.
It shows that you’re thinking beyond just getting an offer.

Good questions include:

• How does the team usually work together?
• What does a typical day look like?
• How are technical decisions made?
• What challenges is the team facing right now?

Avoid asking about salary or leave during a technical round. That can come later.

The Reality No One Talks About

Sometimes, you do everything right… and still don’t get the job.

That’s because interviews don’t depend only on you.

There are:

• Budget constraints
• Internal hiring plans
• Team changes
• Management decisions
• Timing issues

You might be a great fit technically and still get rejected.

That doesn’t mean you failed.

It just means the process is bigger than one person.

Final Thoughts

I’ve failed interviews.
I’ve made mistakes.
I’ve learned things the hard way.

And I still believe this:

If you think clearly, communicate honestly, and keep improving — you’ll eventually find the right place.

Don’t let a few rejections convince you that you’re not good enough.

Sometimes it’s not about being perfect.
It’s just about being ready when the right opportunity shows up.

🎥 Watch the full video here:
👉 https://youtu.be/CtDe4Gbw4dY